Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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