You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
