she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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