Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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