she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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