So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
