I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
