Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just threw up on my dentist
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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