I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
