new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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