There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
