we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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