he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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