bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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