Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this boner is exhausting
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
