speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I could have mohawked her pubes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
