I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize