I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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