Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
