You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
