You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize