shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
