So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
