Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
