Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What a dumb baby whore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
