Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
