Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
