I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
