I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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