anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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