I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
