i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
