Where is the hickey?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize