Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So vagazzling was a success
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
