dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
