hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
