Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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