You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
