Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
