Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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