i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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