SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
