I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
