Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
