I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
