I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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