If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You ate ashes out of my bong
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
