Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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