Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
