Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
