so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
