He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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