Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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