OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
