he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
