So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
