Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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