whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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