You're my little dorito
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize