I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
