I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
