ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
