Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You took a bar mat shot.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
