You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize