If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
