life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
