He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
