Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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