i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
