I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
