I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
