I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
