I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
